I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
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Wednesday 29 April 2020

Are you a climber? Stevie ? Haston.

I was a climber before I was born. Were you? I held the umbilical cord between by little fingers and imagined holding the falls of my twin brother as he tried to wriggle out of this hell I was imprisoned with him in. As soon as I climbed out of 'the narrows', I screamed 'yes'  for my Victoria over imprisonment. Little did I know this hell climb would be repeated ad nauseam.



 The sky is blue and we are in Prison, well not me obviously, I speak of some of the worlds population, told what to do, and blindly following orders ..


 Invitation to dance, outrageously good climbing/dancing shoes. Invitation au voyage, a route name in France (possibly got this wrong) the French do get the odd thing right, we will see if they crucify Macron at the next election, or are falling into control or 'compliance'. Compliance is a great new word used to describe control of population, it is like in Britain, we used to have to comply to the status quo of prescribed climbing by a few pompous people, nominally this was guided by the chief of Propaganda Ken 'the red' Wilson. If you didn't comply you were denounced in the magazine, and then ignored in the public drinking establishments. 


 'Babies in a Blender' was a route name I seem to remember. There will be many more abortions after quarantine, there will be lots of family crimes, perhaps a million more unwanted births.


 My fingers are easily strong enough to crush this rock, its a treacherous medium to climb but its incredibly memorable also, if you climb this kind of rock otherwise polite people will say you are insane! 

Training in old England was called cheating, pros were looked down upon, it was an extension of the public schools system and ideology. Alright for some, some were taken by rich parents on the Grande Tour, some kids couldn't climb out of the slums. Slums arnt called slums anymore, don't even know what they are called, but you can be sure there are two different sectors from where climbers come from. Even in the simplistic climbing game of climbing walls and bouldering, there is a difference from Now, versus Then. In the old days I bunked (sneaked in) into the Sobell centre Wall, and then Bradford Uni wall, as I remember the Sheffield Uni training thing was free as well. Not now guys, get your Visa au Voyage out!



Ah the untraveled stuff by a route of mine. The Taxification of everything now is utterly incredible, but it is not so amazing when you think that people dont value their liberty to climb, walk run, or even get out of the house. Virtual reality has captured people, once we wanted real experience, we didn't want the Blue Planet, we were in it, and really nice villages and towns gave us free camping, We voyaged into the real natural world, and eat it for breakfast. Today, its Planet Mountain web site saying stay at Home, today its UK Climbing saying Stay the Fuck at Home, well I can tell you its them who should stay the Fuck at home! They arnt climbing, Climbing is you, climbing is rock, climbing is a journey, an experiment, it's a risk, it is defo not sitting at home masturbating.


Failed on this the other day, lots of failures recently. To find your limits is an interesting thing, what are your limits on proscribed thought and rules? Are you still a free thinking, Skin head moon stomp climber?


I love scorpions. Are Scorpions dangerous? Are viruses dangerous? Wasn't it a virus that turned animals from egg layers into, mammals?Wasnt it viruses that created thought process-thought processes seem a bit overrated now since government think that thinking for your self should be banned. There's a wing of the British army called Brigade 77, it's in charge of various false accounts, and is a Trolling factory which works in league with various other mysterious people agendas and 1984 kinda things. Theres a Wonderfull bit of film out there somewhere showing the head of the Army dressed in desert camoflage gear (try to remember he is a studio haha), talking about how well the Army is helping in the Corona /Flu thing, its laughable. Thats why you should go climbing, climbing was always a real leveller, although the climbing secret police tried they couldn't really control climbing! Long live climbing.