I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Saturday, 25 January 2014

Grivel Twin gate knowledge, by Stevie Haston.

The new Twingate carabiner from Grivel is the safest biner I have ever used. In many instances it will be found to be much safer. In a month of personal testing I have been unable to accidentally disengage myself from this carabiner. There has been enormous interest from climbing editors and guides and climbers about this biner, they see the advantages straight away.

Here's the Twingate next to Grivel's lightest screwgate, which is the lightest in the world and a very useful bit of kit. If you want light, I might still go for the one on the right, if you want safest I'd go for the twingate. In what situations might you choose safest? I ask this no brainer question cos their are an incredible number of 'confused' people out there. A few examples, your belay perhaps, your belay or abbing device, top roping where movement and rock shape might open a carabiner. The lower off anchors on a climb, or at a climbing wall top roping. Where carabiners might freeze, choose the wire ones. When climbing with Kids, as they have trouble with stuck screwgates and fiddle with gear. While doing safety work, rigging, rescue, or any other situation where its "safety first".  You can also use them as carry biners where you dont want to loose expensive kit!
Are they difficult to clip? Lets start with no. They are not difficult to clip into belay devices, abseil devices pegs etc. Are they difficult to unclip? Lets start with no, basically no. With gloves? Well everything becomes difficult with gloves. What about as quick draws? As quick draws on a climb within ones grade they are fine, but of course safer! I personally have used them on climbs up to 8b. At climbs above your standard, or where you are pressed, and you are not a Ninja clipper, I leave it up to you. Grivel twin gates, check the video out here. It's done like it is to minimize translation and make it clear. It is not an exhaustive e.book. Goodluck with the twin clip, more fun and success, and less disconnects. 
You can check out the video here.
I will be at Ispo trade fair (B5 Grivel's booth) for the duration, please do not ask me about the twin gate, ask me about anything else, I beg you. 

Friday, 24 January 2014

Maltesers, by Stevie Maltesers Haston

Just a reminder that Malta/Gozo is a great place to go for swimming, diving, climbing, walking… I'll be out there in a few weeks. There is a new Climbing guide book for sale with all the new routes, to order at tufapublications@gmail.com, great time to come over while the rest of europe is damp and horrible… Here some photos of the climbs….

Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Grivel Twin Gate Carabiner Revolution, By Stevie Haston

Four new safety carabiners from Grivel.
Do you want one? 
Will they change, or save your life?
Do they make Capuccino?
You decide…
Here's the link to a really interesting video, by oscar winning actor Stevie Cheesy Capuccino Haston!
I will be at Ispo show, on the Grivel stand if you want to ask anything!
These carabiners represent the most interesting step in design and security that I could ever have imagined. You should probably buy one at least, to go with your belay device and/or decender.

Sunday, 19 January 2014

Extravegance, exuberance, extortionance, by Stevie existenial Haston.

It's winter, hard to tell for sure, as today it's plus 14°, but you know it's the spirit of the thing. Like with ice climbing: the spirit might be ice but the sinues are in mixed climbing. Here's a link to the Ice world cup, it's worth watching to see where todays sport is,  it's a very advanced and interesting game which climbers hardly know about and climbing media cant seem to get across to their readers. With some of the best tools costing 1500 dollars or pounds a pair, its getting pretty exclusive.

I read this week that cats think they are more clever than their gaurdians, well that's a no brainer cats dont go mixed climbing!

Here's a little trick with a daisy chain, instead of using them for climbing which is way too expensive use them for training. Use them for un-even pull ups, up and down, or however. Its a really good little workout! 

I found that even I could keep track of which loops I used, and it helped me think about the way pushing down really helps a lot. If you do them slow,  you dont cheat like you do on a campus board. Anyway there you go. 

My cats actually do pull ups and require feed back, not criticism you understand, it's just admiration they want, so its clear my function and existence, is really just about them. The end of an axe blade is modeled on a cats claw, it was one of the very simple things that advanced mixed climbing. 

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Shoulder, shock, surprise, by Stevie subtle Haston.

Shoulders quickly loose their ability to function thru a wide range of motions, this is normal but a bit scary if you are getting old, or stop using them.

So of course the answer is to keep using them and keep them functioning thru a wide range of motion. If you are like me your range of motion might be compromised. When I was young I could shake hands behind my back! Now it's hard to scratch my back. The good news is it should come back with work.  So heres a yoga pose, or stretch (first photo) and a stretch with sling, you can substitute a broom etc for this. Don't overdo this stretch do not pull agressivly, or past any real tolerence, it's a passive stretch at minimum or just where you engage the stiffness.

If you are stiff in this area, and nearly evey one is especialy males, a little work might be in order. I couldnt do a move the other day, I felt too short, the problem was lack of shoulder mobility.

Standing stretch you might notice it stretches the front side of your body, pecs and frontal deltoids. Like I said be really careful, dont blame me if you overdo it, take it easy.

Friday, 17 January 2014

Gelatinous truth, solid lies, by Stevie Turgid Haston.

                   The film Mr Woodcock

I have been catching up on culture lately. Yea, that's right-been chowing down the pop corn and watching the flickering screen. Australian culture was once compared to the mould on half eaten yogurt, but now that yogurt is made with more preservatives than a horny army on leave, well we are lost for words. American culture has finally produced a decent film, it is advertised as a comedy but is actually a climbing instructional tutorial. 

Anyway I have been compared to Billy Bob Thorton, I dont know whether to be flattered or appalled. But in the spirit of Bob, and Bob, and Bob, lets call them the holy trinity of Bobs, climbing media is a "gelatinous embarrassment" , and needs a good thrashing. So thats Billy Bob, Bob Marley, and Bob the Boobs in Fight Club.

If I hear the certain climbers described as dirt bags ever again by advertisers I will promise to swallow my silver plated dummy. Most of them are well off, some of them are trustafarians, and more than a few are millionares, so get real. And another thing, UKC Forum is not a forum, it is a device to construct interest in a business which makes money, customer beware! It took off a thread about the cruelties of down production this week, stating that it wasnt well thought out- as my father Bob Hastons would have said, 'eat wet horse manure, it's good for you' , saying that live down plucking is cruel is just bad for selling duvets, that's all. 

Monday, 13 January 2014

Training your mind, by Stevie Mindless Haston.

The mind, is the boss who controls your training, but the boss is often asleep at the wheel, or he's looking at the countryside out the window. That wouldlnt be so bad, but sometimes he's keeping bad company!

Training your mind, is the first step in training your body, and training your body is the first step in controling your mind. When the two things are in harmony, we can grasp very large things, and banish a few old enemies, boredom and depression, being my worst foes.

Do not let yourself be distracted, follow the plan, man. If you are now over your New years resolutions, look at the above, the woman on the right is looking at how much skin she has for tomorrow's training session. She isn't thinking about her manicure, she's preparing her self mentally.

Second step of the year for me, was to start training systematicaly, to create pattern and habbit. The first image of a fairly big hand is to remind myself, its me who controls my mind, and without a shadow of a doubt I will Master a few tricky routes this year, the price is high but it wont break me. 

The third step is food, or the lack of it. Total elimination of food will happen at the end of this month, after a visit to the winter trade show. I will allow myself a few Weisse beers, and then I will remind myself that nothings tastes as good as clipping the chains. Target weight under 65kgs, my mind is already rebelling, we will see who is stronger......

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Dude, where's my car? by Stevie stoner Haston.

It's the 8th of January and I have done 13 8a's! Not bad for a fat old bloke who can hardly find his silver grey boring ordinary car in the car park full of ordinary silver grey cars!

This is an 'Easy bar', I don't know what's easy about it, it's comfy on the wrists, and elbows, and allows different hand placements, but easy it is not. It is with some amusement, that I have seen two Mixed climbers say that, 'easy ice isnt easy' this week. It would actualy be funny except that Ramon Marin (who has a brill blog) had abit of a tumble, and pranged himself. Get better quick.

Now then, I'll say something, ice is a very fickle medium, and it takes some learning, it's like snow, and loose rock, that's why you dont see many people really playing with these challenging mediums. Magazines, and the media do not do these grey areas of climbing justice, and watch out retribution is swift. I have been really excited about snow recently, and am taking it easy, even though the snow pack in the south west is much better than the Alps. Just because you think you are good at something dont underestimate the reality, ask Schumacher.