I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Saturday, 6 April 2019

Too Lazy to Train, time to die! By Stevie lazy Haston.

Are you Lazy? Do you have trouble with motivation? Can you even say MOTIVATION? Have you given up, or are about to? If so, this might be for you. This morning I was so depressed by Mrs May and her idiot "plan", and that American Orangubafoon, and Windmill cancer, and Macron o Micron making a deals with Monsanto, and invading Venezuela for oil, but pretending it was about something else, that I wanted to just stay in bed with a furry toy!

80 meters to the sea.

But hey I didnt-I went and made a cup of shitty coffee, and because I still suffer from  ADD, I timed it. 3mins 30 secs for a shitty powdered coffee cup of dirty water as the Italians would call it. What can you do with 3 mins 30 seconds when you really want to kick ten politicians in the head. So guys I just did that, I visualised every dip stick politician and kicked them in the ankle, the shin, the knee, the thigh, the groin, the Liver, floating ribs, solar Plexus, chin, neck, temple. Axe kicking  them to the head for a finish-they have to be fairly short for this as my technique is bad at the moment, so I chose some of midget money washing men to target. I fell over at around 3 mins, got up from the floor, poured the water into a mug with some dubious coffee grains in it, and walked to the desk. I didnt even excersise for the full time, felt completly spent, but felt better.

Could you get fit in the time it takes to make a cup of coffee I wondered? Don't know, interesting question. If you said to your self I will have 4 cups of coffeee which takes 14 to 15mins to make you might be able to get fit in 15 mins of ex a day. There is probably some one out there who is very strong or fit, who certainly looks great on 15 mins a day!

It is recorded that Banister the first man to break the 4 min barrier for the mile did very, very brief training. How brief? He ran for 10 mins-he was the fastest man in the world at a mile on 10 mins training, or the time it takes to make less than three cups of coffee! Hard to believe, yes it is, but there you go!
Could 10 mins climbing training get you anywhere in climbing? Yes it could. Here's how, taking a leaf out of Banisters tree. Take a first joint finger edge, and on the min do a few pull ups, not many pull ups, certainly not your max, then hang on your finger tips at near full extension till you drop off. That's it, you can rest for two mins between hangs. Aim to get better, that's more pull ups, longer hangs, or better pull ups etc. Will this get you to a high standard? Yes and no. Climbing is a very complicated sport with many rooms to get lost in,  but yes you will improve. Crazy isn't it.

If you can't do pull ups, just hang-it will still work. If you are really good, use harder grips, smaller holds, slower pull ups, and a heavy lead
If you have any more time, most people do, do something else, run around a park, play a physical game, do some yoga, have fun and success, stay healthy by eating good food.

Remember Roy Batty in Blade runner?

'I'ave seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, I watched C beams glitter near Tanhauser gate. All these things will be lost, unless you do 10 sets of 10, you will cry when you fail on your next route! Believe in 10x10, or get Windmill Presidents.'

the view from my new gaff, not as nice as my old view.