Profit of Doom, by Stevie Haston

5 people enjoying climbing, name how many rules they are breaking to win a furry animal toy, theres a dog in the photo somewhere, apparently they can carry corona as well, or so they say!

This will be a very badly written blog cos I am too busy enjoying my life at the moment, I advise you to do the same, that possibly means not reading this blog, but since you can't actually enjoy anything apart from playing with yourself you might as well.

Nosferatu resurrected himself every day not just at Easter.

The Easter Profit of Doom. Watch out for 'Wavelets' of Corona sweeping hot air balloons of World Health Organisation Double Speak.

I could just link vids of cops trying to arrest kids for playing foot ball in their own garden, a woman in the UK arrested for sitting on a park bench and the wonderful jogging guy in Italy turning into Husein Bolt as a corpulent copper gave enfeebled chase. 
Dig for Victory, what other guff are they going to come up with, the queen made a speech and we are supposed to feel thankful for her kind words-as if we all share in her wold view and wealth. Pardon me for not being impressed with that family, her husband is a drunk racist who crashed his car t'other day, while possibly being incapable of driving. And what ever you do don't mention her son being fond of taking Lear get rides to sex parties. Loose lips sunk ships, Your country needs you, well it needs your tax, because Branson and the media papers won't pay theirs!

So a little bit of research obviously under the influence of some Vino de Veritas has produced some  interesting facts. What follows is not from me, its not made up, but has been published in many reputable newspaper/rags. 
Number  one thing of note, Malta will have 19 deaths by August. This at first sight doesn't seem like a great deal of death, on second, and even on 10 sight it seems like not many deaths. It may well be worse where you live.
Number two, where ever you live there might be a net gain in lives due to less pollution. In China they will save 20 times the lives they lost. This is staggering.
The UK is looking bad, my sympathies, but you did vote for it, well you voted for the Conservatives who cut the National Health Service at the knees and then slashed her beautiful throat, and bled her half to death.

Is it illegal to do this at the moment?

Can you believe that British health workers are in hospital  covering themselves in bin bags for protection, thats in one of the five biggest economies in the world.
Anyway enough sad dreary thoughts let us cheer you up with the puppy at the end of the news bit. A mate in France has fallen out with his old climbing partner-a sad but apt little tale of Easter. His friend is in the PGHM, this is the prestigious and highly professional mountain rescue team, and his friend is actively trying to catch him. It's a bit sad because what can his mate do, he has to do what his boss says, and the boss of the boss is also a climber, but what can he do? Well they could all go climbing just like they used to, or is that too simple, too fairy tale. When it is illegal for kids to play football in their garden you should be worried.

Shagging Corona, by Stevie Haston

If you are not climbing, well done, nice obedient people, if you are not sick, I would say it's probably ok to climb where no one else is climbing, because logic dictates you can't give it to any one. But guys and girls, what would I know, I have been isolated way longer than most of you, I did it early because I didn't want to catch the Flu / corona pandemic enema. My country has just put forcibly a whole village of 1300 people under quarantine, they happen to be black refugee/immigrants, no surprises there I guess.

 My mate Said, I taught him to free dive, and he taught me to be a better human being.

 The pull up, more specifically the finger board, this brill one is by Crusher Boards and yes this is an advert for them, but because you know that I dont tell pork pies like Boris, you might consider buying one on my recommendation. If you are richer, you might consider buying a whole ICU care facility, because in certain countries like the UK you don't have enough-thats due to certain governments underfunding the National Health Service-its not due to corona.

 I was swimming under this a few days ago 2 km of exercise maintaining 2 meters Bla Bla. A great route is this, The Sonic Giraffe 6b. 

Most things Politicians say can be put in this box. They are threatening to take away peoples excersise privalidges in certain countries, they are threatening to punish whole populations for disobeying them. As the great British sea cliff climber Pat Littlejohn pointed out, this is against the Geneva Convention, and is a Nazi tactic.

Wink, wink, not as good as a wink to a blind horse.😉

Here are a few facts which were accidentally let out by my government which has also threatened to take away our excersise privileges. Corona, Corvid 19, Sara-Corvid 2, or the demonic plague flu thingy has an RO of 1.3 this is the same as a Flu, it did this by accident the other day as we dont statistical have a problem with this Flu. The death rate was not disclosed, but it might be understood to be very low as we still haven't had anybody die to it. Obviously I cant vouch for these facts, so beware these facts. By the way viruses have been around for much longer than humans, they have survived a few mass extinctions and will be around after we are gone.  

Group think, climbing, Swimming and Corona, by Stevie stay climbing Haston.

I invite you all to report me to the authorities for climbing in the time of Corona, I invite you to publicly pillory me, go on you know you want to. Despite it not being illegal  here, there are little snoopers,  good little Stazi who seem to have a hard on for me being crucified. Well go on do it, get on your phones, I will be out swimming.

Stuck at home are we?

Some nice sensible sentient beings I was talking to recently about group think , Double Speak and taking what governments and the World Health Organisation tell you as gospel. Goebbels would be laughing if he saw what's going on to day, perhaps not about Corona but assuredly about much else. Who knows the truth nowadays its a product instantly sellable. You want the opposition candidate smeared or crowned with anti Semitic notions-well done, we will do it say the obedient media.  

 You are being watched, you know it. This fossil rock so beautiful, is it a camera, is it real, or is it just another google tool watching you?
As you go out of the house for your prescribed amount of toilet rolls beware the neighbours are watching, but they are redundant, your phone is doing it all.

My garden is doing well, I have the luxury of having one, some fresh vegetables too, oh great. But what of the people stuck in a single room, no internet nothing to occupy their empty little sad lives, can't they go and sun themselves in the park and do some pull-ups on a tree-well of course not. The Greater Good.

The sea is spectacular at the moment.

 Climbing is my right, it's a right of people to work, some people even talk of a right to happiness. There is no statistical evidence of a problem in my country, so I will continue my life.  

I am climbing here with an Italian  man, he has no right to travel to see his two old parents in northern Italy. This was his first 7a, it took his mind off his parents being trapped in a tiny village with far away friends.

I encourage people to keep 2 meters away from people, and take precautions against giving each other the Flu, or corvid 19, or what ever. I encourage people to take reasonable and sensible precautions, and I encourage people to look up Groupthink, its real folks please beware. 

Climbing versus Crooked Politicians, by Stevie Haston

The weather is perfect, the sea has been benevolent and warm, the rocks also. But instead of deliriously happy, I am more than half sad, and half angry, that's more than my cup can bear! The greed of politicians is allowing 700 million eu a year to be lost to corruption, a little bit of that would help kids enjoy sport in the sea, or on the rocks-call me a simple old fool, but corruption doesn't normally benefit kids unless they belong to crooks, or politicians.

Denis my friend is nearly alway happy, here he is coming down from his first 7a, he is even starting yoga a seemingly small thing, which has thrilled me. When ever some one starts yoga, the sky smiles little.
















Malta is famous for brilliant scuba diving, brilliant climbing, and history that goes back past the Pyramids.  Above are wanted photos of crooks, murderers, rich guys, and politicians in no particular order.

Daphne was a journalist who was murdered by a conspiracy based on getting rich

A big demonstration fo the smallest EU country.

These bank notes were thrown around the sitting house of Parliament, the governments reaction was to shut parliament, start the Xmass holidays early- such are the tools of democracy

Denise threading the cheap belay chains we have here because we are self funded on Gozo while the money disappears.

It seems I am apologising for my continuing paucity of training advice but seriously we are drowning in corruption on our little islands. I promise to get back on the right track, but at the moment the right track is a bit of politics and attending a demonstration (above) to surport my fellow climbers and their nations battle against thieves.

As a tit bit of training info for you, my typical day might be morning yoga and Pranayama 30 mins to 2 hours then maybe a swim a dive or climbing. Lots of internet which I hate and find damaging, lots of mails  and text messages, which I don't much like. Best thing last week was a classic day for me, yoga from before sunrise, sea side communication with nature, free diving, then a new route, a beautiful new route that one day people will enjoy and love. Yoga is dance some times, but if you dance above the green sea, and under the blue sky, you can find a level of peace that should be humans norm.

Pull ups and Politicians, by Stevie pull up Haston.

I have to give my readers an apology, I am very sorry I haven't been blogging well, my excuse is that my country for the last few years has been going through a shit storm of corruption. Doesn't sound like much, that probably sounds normal to you if you live in Britain, or America, right? Or India, or jesu Cristo and all the Indian gods, many many countries are up shit creek with out a paddle and with a gaping hole in the bottom of the boat! You are thinking yes we know Stevie, some of you do know but your not that engaged or turning a blind eye to it all because for one thing you are exhausted! Don't be, courage, take a rest and do something positive, get on the case> If you are in Britain vote Labour, I don't want to be political (but obviously everything is politics), climbing is about enjoying your life and potential, Labour at its best will help you, its got a good manifesto about Climate change and the environment. Think of doing something for Extinction Rebellion. Engage and help  in our dying planet.

 Are these members of the Maltese Cabinet? No they are far nicer!

 I climb therefore I'am.

 Sorting a dump of litter at the most popular cliff in the Maltese island, hunters were threatening people there on a regular basis this year, what is being done nothing.

Happy Xmass, not that I am a Christian you understand, I am just trying to be nice, happy winter solstice is better I suppose, anyway I want for Xmass now that my Prime Minister has been forced to resign, I want the time to train and climb and swim and enjoy my poxy life please!

Part of my personal philosophy is to wake up in the morning and do my yoga, then my breathing exercise, then I thank the universe for the good things in my life, then through the day I try to be nice. This last bit is a real ball breaker! How can you be nice to horrible people, well nobody said it would be easy grasshopper get going, go climbing. Now that the Prime Minister is gone the fight is not over, but it is certainly a better chance to clean this dump of litter off our country.
On a personal note I hope to climb well again, I miss it, I want to help more people get more from their climbing swimming and Freediving. 

Training instead of messing about, by Stevie serious Haston.

Just a quick blog to get back in the routine. I did an interview once, and the guy/writer/fool asked me whether I trained? Where do they get these people from?
Nothing I have done well, and its not much that I have done well, I have trained for!

 Training my breath in the pool, I have trained my breath for years and if I hadn't I would not have done very much well. At the moment I train about an hour a day breath its normally combined with yoga, but sometimes I do more, On the days when I do a proper hour of controlled breathing I can even tolerate idiots! 

 This is a hook, Mr Peter Pan, be careful one day you will be old and sick, and I will catch you with my hook.

 A very interesting flower, my reward is normally the top of a route or a clients smile, possibly a friends smile but I don't have many because I tell friends to train!

 These Kites are very big 6 meter kites, they were flying near a cliff we were on.


How much did I train? Answers on a postcard. Most good climbers train 15 to 25 hours a week, as a runner I often did 100 mountain miles a week. When lazy people look at good performers who claim to do nothing, they are buying into a lie. Nowadays I don't train very systematically or well, that's why I only climb low grades, but I do my yoga every morning religiously, I swim etc. Hopefully I can train systematically soon, I would like to do better. If I had my time again, I would train perhaps a little more wisely, but a man should exceed his grasp to know what he can span , and something that which is just out of reach, is the sweetest fruit. Train.  

Red October, by Stevie Red Haston.

Hello guys there is a donation button on my page at the top, its for bolts, new routing, keeping paths clean and the odd of bit maintenance, if you don't donate very little is done. Thanks, especially to the guys and girls who have donated more than once, yes the money is really important, but so is the moral support, I really feel like giving up a lot. It's October one of my fave months, wish it was a 365 days long month!

 Getting ready to sink like Red October, a 30 meter swim through, Soli the London Fireman did it just after me- good for you Soli.

 Simon, and Soli on the ledge of Kings a fairly pretentious name, but it is a good spot.

Simon's first time in the Underworld and he did great, such progress, but he is an ox, if he did some stretching he would improve more, his 85 kgs broke two holds in one go, but he still hung on!

 Oscar the strange lazy cat, he likes to stretch and walk across slender branches, natural born psyco.

 So found my totem at last, I look at the holds on routes in search of one of these! Two students have found them on my routes! This exceptional 26 million year old sharks tooth was under a place where 10,000 divers have been, It winked at me. It is so fine you can see the serration on the edges!

 Photo Tina. thnx Tina Watson!

This is with Jon, talking about stone and sea, Jon is a very good climber -better than he really knows, you need to let it go and climb two grades harder!

Photo Tina Watson.

The lovely little roof. You pass fossil worm holes and tracks, it's very exposed, and if you don't feel butch it will  mess with you.

Photo Tina Watson

Behind me to the right is a thing called Bridge of Sighs, around 8b, it will be in the new guide book, coming out early next year. I need to finish off 50 routes before the new guide, any body who donates will have Gozo climbing eternal gratitude.

So you are probably thinking, a blog without political comment! Yes, I am exhausted with it all, gear will cost more if Brexit goes through, this year already there have been hardly any British climbers coming over, the assault on real democracy goes on at an ever increasing pace in many countries, I have nothing to add. Maybe one thing, I support Extinction Rebellion, yes you may be inconvenienced by them, but your grand children will be flash fried, and will never see flocks of birds, insects, or shoals of fish, and will be hiding under factor 6000 sunscreen in northern Scotland. Good luck folks, climb, dive, run through the trees and flowers, have fun and success.