Training Gurus, by Stevie "the train" Haston.

A pull up block, in this case a large one!

 It is hard to be fit, it's easy to be fat! It's not easy to do hard routes, but it is a damn sight harder if you'r fat, and can't do a pull up, or two. I was watching a vid of one of the latest bunch of training gurus telling me how to train this morning on my googely wiggly box, when what ever he was saying faded into gray, and I looked at the bags under his eyes, and his fairly obvious light weight due to not eating! Preety neat I thought, masquerade light weight as training, a bit like the steroid boys and girls telling you how to get big muscles by 3 sets of 12, when they are in fact pharmaceutical experiments. I have often said climbing training isn't rocket science, but for pitysake a quick video of an emaciated climber with huge skill  will not turn you into any thing except disappointed. How about telling people it will take time. Or that they have to try really hard!

 A cheap set of weights!

I make money occasionally by taking people on to improve their climbing, or help them enjoy a bit more success, and I always tell them you gotta get some in, you have to train. You have to be in the right gear, you gotta want it, actually wanting it is a good start, desperate to succeed is better. Fundamentally gagging for the next grade would be my preferred state of mind. Mindlessly following the gurus lovely cuddly words won't hack it. Doing 4X4s won't hack it, you gotta mean it. 

 Some worthless training books, and a good science fiction one.

I read training books not because I will ever find anything out, but because I want to avoid training. If Steve Edwards was alive he would laugh at that one. He was always kind, and liked my training stuff. One of his big things was doing some thing big on his birthday. It was a birthday challenge. He got the idea from Jack Lalanne a fitness guru who was also into health food long befor these things became mainstream. I got the birthday challenge the day I was born, and with each passing year I get lazier. However I resist the urge to book my Zimmer frame, and try, some years I try foooking hard. 

A reasonable result, actually a  very good one, 55 years old, and more than 8b+ -a few years ago.

Eat less, train more, try hard. Possibly, get some skill sets, acquire real knowledge, perspire, aspire, when in doubt hire - as in hire me, I need the money, and I know what I am talking about.

Dead these last few days, by Stevie Haston

 Scott Cosgrove (USA),  Brian Cropper (UK), and Steve Edwards (USA) all died in the last couple of days. If you were lucky enough to have met one of them you are indeed lucky. Or if you climbed with them, or if you did anything with them. Some people who read these inadequate words will have known them all. Our community is very much poorer with their leaving.

Through the miracle, or the curse of the internet I was talking to Scott, only a few hours later to be shocked at his demise.

 A scant few hours later the news of  Brian Cropper, a man as Steve Bancroft said was ridiculously kind to us young whippersnappers in the 1970s.

And this morning Steve Edwards, a man who motivated me to stay in the saddle. If I said the cliffs still hear your feet, and feel your fingers, forgive me for being flowery. If I said the road will remember your wheels Steve, forgive me.  Mr Cropper thanks for buying me drinks, and for buying all the other penniless young lads drinks.  See ya on the other side.

Micro life, micro death, by Stevie Haston.

 Mistra Rocks.

As I was sorting an abseil rope today at the top of the cliff, I broke my hand hold, and started to topple towards the long away floor, all sharp, and dark, dangerous, and hard. I did that revolving arm thing, wind milled around ineffectively, on the brink of having a little catastrophe. In seemed to go for ever, but lasted a micro second, the wind stopped, time stopped my heart stopped. The rock hand hold hit the ground, and then time started again. Phew etc.  

 Future route of stupendous magnificence

These little deaths, these mishaps, how many times will they not actually happen, in that final, catastrophic, hit the deck kinda way?

how can you beat this?

And then the wind whistles its sweet song, the colours do their magic watercolour story across your retina, the rock is generous, and shows you a path up its impregnability, and everything is roses. The pigeons where whipping around in the force 5, going through the gaps much faster. They were playing jet fighters. My heart was all calm as it all ways is here again, just the sea, the cliff, and a distant ship passing. I don't know what I would do without this little corner, it's my little sanctuary of sanity. I have had my life, and most of the good bits were on the cliff, and mountain, but stay safe, hold fast. 

Being Pathetic, by Stevie Pathetic Haston

 Local breed of dog, decended from Egyptian hunting dog.

Pull ups did not go well! I thought it was gonna go badly, but it went worse. These little things are sent to try us! Being Pathetic comes easy to some of us. I managed 700 and a few pull ups, I want to get fit for my birthday, which is coming up soon. Age cannot be defeated, but prescribed levals of fitness should be exceeded. Much of what we learnt about health, age, sport, politics, is how can I put, this "a crock of shizzle".

 following a narrow rift passage underground.

 A new buttress recently cleaned and waiting for titanium bolts

 Pull ups on a bar for an injured finger, propping up the bar is not normally recommended in sport!

 natural salt pans, first industry of Gozo!

Lazy Malta days, by Stevie Solid Haston.

 bridging the gap, Monsieur Solide.

Its been anything but lazy here in Gozo, but on a recent trip to Malta, I understood that we are relaxed and layed back. Malta is frenetic, hectic, and has terrible traffic.

 Early morning in the capital, nice and tranquil.

Valetta the capital of Malta is extraordinary, it is a World Heritage site, and is magic. That's very easy to forget when half of Russia is there, and all the rest of the north, on tour! In the morning it is great though, coffee and cakes in a local cafe, not one of those fecking frapacino tourist cafes, catering for pale people on a cultural mission. Oh no me old beauty, a proper fat guy behind the counter, and two fat old mates playing cards.

 Local guy, got an award for his energy and go for it attitude.

I have been cleaning paths, climbs, re doing stuff to tidy it up. All hard work. Cleaned a few big blocks off a new sector today including a dinner table sized block.

 These lovely people where picking up other peoples litter! Wow angels!

San Blas on a stormy day.

I have found another large underground slot, which is interesting and have joined it up into a really nice circuit, it is a kind of parcour I guess, a country parcour. It requires lots of balance, and spatial awareness and it is fine tuning me. Odd to find out theres lots of ways to fine tune your balance and make you climb better-well not really. I haven't done Martial Arts for a while, that was always good for my timing and balance, might give that my yearly bash again. I feel the need to bleed! 
Titanium bolts coming soon!

Gozo Valentino to you. Stevie Bela Lugosi Haston.

 The colours, or colours are good today! It was getting a bit dull, washed out, and insipid, but it brightened up nicely. It's a funny year, it looks like its gonna be bad for the farmers here. The temps are too hot in the sun some days already. 

 South African Soral is an ancient refugee here.

I equipped three routes today, a 6b+, a 6c, and a 6a, all really good, all with titanium gear. Thanks to all the people who made this possible, Rich from Qala, being very kind recently.  Two of the routes are aretes, which offer nice exposed climbing all on the Nadur cliffs.

 Colours here are bright, this is the stern of a Lanteena rigged local boat.

The sea is very clear at the moment, a bit cold for swimming without a bit of a wet suit, but well worth it for the extreme visibility.

A beautiful harmless local snake.

The warm weather has brought out the snakes, we just passed this fellow in the street, and picked him up before he was run over. Hope everybody is getting fit. 

Allah Akbar, by Stevie "believe in anything" Haston.

 looking into the Abyss.

There are times when I will believe in anything. I have prayed to stoves to work, indeed I have promised to be a good boy for ever, and ever, if they would just melt some snow.

 Believing that the sofa is indeed the only place to be!

One of the only things I don't believe in is my innate ability to be all victorious, cos I am the greatest. My ability, or non ability resides in some training, or a lot of training.

 A little light 8b-toe intensive-good boots and friction.

This old route's bolts are 304, I put new hangers on as I am waiting for some Titanium. It's not the 304 that made me nervous, but the sudden 30 meter exposure on the first move, funny haha.
.

the route Allah Akbar is a right bit of 8b, or a bit more.

"If you like your Larger strong", as the advert says, I can't remember the rest, or if you want to "shine on all surfaces", "Whiter than white"(like my face when I span the gap), "Vorsprung durch Technik" or "pull till your eyes bleed", or Allah Akbar. It's funny how not owning a car hoover has not inhibited me over the years, and yes I can tell Pepsi from Coke. And if you ever believed the Volkswagen emissions shisle in the first place you were dumb. Have you noticed how that it's just been swept under the table? Well who do you think buys newspaper advertising space?