Pirates, Pilates, and politicians, by Stevie Polite Haston.

The island is very green, and pleasant, temperatures are perfect, so why am I on a cold cliff these last few days. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, "it's because the stone, is stoned immaculate".

 Friction slab, unusual for limestone!

Two new routes yesterday, I need bolts. Donate some money if you can, or have climbed on my island.  One was 6a, easy 6a at that, the name Mega Stone came to mind. The next one we did was better! Couldn't think of a name, but it was petrified joy, it was a neat little layback up a corner where my fat fingers made it tricky. 

 how green is my island, very green it is, going soon to be brown.

The flowers are very nice this year, the South African Sorel is rampant. This week the Magreb dwarf iris is out, I lost all the photos I took yesterday so can't show you, sad how things blink off computers, isn't it?

A faithful pair of shoes!

Finally gave a pair of climbing shoes a viking burial, well not really, put them in the bin, very sad to see these friends go the way of the Dodo. I need Bolts, I need Glue, I have some time to do some routes, and feel keen. Titanium does not grow on trees. Ah just thought of a name for the second route we did, the "Titanium Tree". The route we failed to bolt was a diagonal route with a slab move on friction, and then the final few moves went over a little overhanging wave of sandstone by hidden generous holds, but either due to being fat, missing the correct footholds, or the steepness, a nice slap was necessary. A perfect route sadly not bolted.  

Why I get upset, by Stevie Haston.

 Hey Dustin hope your ok buddy after Carnival.


Legend has it that we were Hansons, and changed to the anglicised name of Haston, to escape some normal kind of misdemeanour that makes folks immigrate sometimes in a fast fashion.

 the almond blossom is very happy this year and drags me back to that sublime place.

All the people who have got on my case this week about black people, Muslims, hard working Poles, and any other stupid tosh can go to hell in a hand basket.

 Without flowers I don't have life…

I will climb with anybody as long as they are reasonable, and don't hate people because of their colour, or some other flavour. If your political beliefs are different from mine, and they will most certainly be, because yes I am from the Left, the deep off the screen Left, don't worry I won't eat you. But, and it's a big BUT, I might think your not kind, so don't get upset. If you are not a socialist, or if you want people like me to FUCK off back to their own country, please be aware that I might not like you, because you have no empathy, and guess what, I have no country, only a passport. 

 without rock I don't have life.

The UK was never that great for us, four of us lived in two damp rooms, with no toilet, or bathroom. Dad was often black listed for being on strike, or demanding safe conditions of work. Now that I see unelected Prime Fascist May, and the Cons dismantling the last barriers we have to a social defence for workers please forgive me for drawing some lines in my friendship criteria.

without foolish fun I don't have life, after all I am a mix of northern european and arab …

The word Slavic gave us the word Slaves, my present country of visiting, was a slave trade nation, except it was more of a business. The Knights of Saint John , the so called Hospitalers were just a business, and a crooked one most like. My Maltese name comes from Farug, ok. If you don't like it, it is not much to me, I will know you by your dislike. 

Soothing sea of distraction, by Stevie the sea Haston.

It's Carnival in the village, indeed all over the island this week you see people in fancy dress, or costume. It's pretty cool, although of course I don't normally take part, I just go climbing, and the traffic from the extra tourist just gets on my nerves.

 Local viewpoint, each year a few tourists get washed away-it's a local sub sport. Recently there was a much exaggerated story of six people being rescued in the news-it was fake news, they were knocked over!

 Kids just want to have fun, Dustin and Lilly, showing off on "the brain", in years to come it will of course be illegal to stand on this rock, and you will have to have a certified guide etc.
  

the Brain rumours to be modelled on the average size of a local villagers brain, or testical, take your pick.

This section of the north coast is seeing lots of walkers and climbers, this is good as normally its just the preserve of hunters, and four wheel drivers!

 over laden, trying to get across with a big wind ,and sea raging!

This route is taking some time! 

When this route is done it will be four little pitches, finishing through the obvious Alice in wonder hole! It is getting on my nerves, because I can't seem to take the harness pain, and back pain anymore. Still I hope to live on beer through my old age given to me by thankful climbers who climb it.

Slotty Slit of doom, by Stevie Slavering Haston.

Revisiting cliffs you some times get a shock, some routes seem really great, some ordinary. The crazy ones always stand out of course, they throb, they pulse, you can smell the fear dripping in your arm pits, just looking at them.

 A bit of spring cleaning….. never ending story.

The slot of doom has one great route in it, it's called Orchestral manoeuvres in the Dark. It's a pokey 7a, having done it twice I can say that it doesn't get easier on second, or third time around.
.

Having always wanted to do the left hand side of the arching cave, I finally worked it all out today, have to bolt it of course. It will be a three pitch route, with some fairly improbable climbing, and architecture to die for. It will be a must do. Hopefully it won't be very hard.

 this bit is easy…

The last time I was here we were shot at by hunters. Today just some tourists admiring the spectacular limestone plateau with it's great shapes.

 Little Lilly, 10 years old she did a grade three today.

The slot of doom gets abit uncomfortably wide, depending on where I choose to finish it! If I want I can finish on some jammed blocks, and finish fairly easily. If I choose to be demonic, I can finish it by Batman chimney!

 where to finish?

I fell off trying the Batman finish, but is that any reason not to bolt it that way?

Happy work, by Stevie Happy Haston.

Short Blog, the continuing battle for happiness is still in progress. Casualties include boredom, boredom is defiantly on the retreat.

 Bramble murders and annihilation continue.

Paths have been pushed in an effort to control marauding religious botanical thorns in my side.

 safety binders like these make my life safer!

TheAlmond blossom is out, long live Almond blossom.

 Evelyn, having a good time, among the rocks of my village. It's not Sweden, or Poland.

 Evelyn says I am lucky, yes maybe I am.

 Being lowered down hard 7s is a new happy experience for some.

Spring is here, happy words for me.

The view from the flat can be blue, but is normally not sad.

Long live happy stuff. And message for Sweden, "what happened"?

Make Gozo great again. By Stevie insignificant Haston.

I can't believe the routes I have, I miss out on a few, like the West Face of the Dru, and the North Face of Everest, but hey that's "alternative Gozo", coming to a guide book near you soon.

 Guernica  top pitch, with a hundred meters of thick static hanging from me, it must be easy.

Weather is good, climbs are perfect, yesterday I cut lots of brambles from around the starts of several routes. The never ending story of brambles versus climber trousers is a trouser manufacturers dream. The American Manafacturers have tried to change the corporate nature of Salt Lake politicians with out result, so will pull out of Salt Lake and consequently the area will lose money. Politics!

An old traditional route of mine, this is now banned from climbing, fragile this is not. When the law is an Ass etc.

The area around my islands is a huge area for sea grass called Poseidon grass, this is a very important habitat which is getting slowly destroyed, or perhaps it's getting destroyed really quickly. While climbers get routes banned, or loose access due to private land, the sea scape is raped for profit. Many areas around Malta are used for bunkering, or mooring of ships. It does not help out fish and sea! 

Do you like hanging on dongs. A climbing wall in the UK has placed hundreds of Penis's and breasts on a wall for you to fondle!

In Gozo we are still struggling with advertising our climbing, I hesitate to recommend my route which will go in the new guide as "Do you like my Dong, Donald".

Waiting for Godot, by Stevie late Haston.

When you'r young, time seems to be stuck in porridge! As you get old, it speeds up, until you hardly ever wish things to be over, even bad things. Not that anything is super terrible in my life, just the usual unhappiness, or un- contentness. I am spoilt, but I guess I must be super spoilt, because normally I don't try wilfully to foook things up. So my little life continues.

 Yoga, I guess if you really work hard you might not have time for yoga, recently I haven't done much, and my mind is slipping towards stupidly wondering about stupidity.

Forest Gumps Mum famously said, "stupid does as stupid is". I probably got that wrong, Forest Gump after his first coffee can make me look fairly dumb after all. Is the message of that film just be kind, even if your dumb, don't get over confused, just be kind?

 A bit of climbing.. soothing stuff above the sea.

After coming back from the big trade show, with all its far off dreams, and promises of sporting excellence if you only by product X, I just feel like sitting in the sun below a cliff listening to the birds sing. Hunting season is over, birds get to be happy again. It seems there is a class of person who isn't that kind, they often seem to sink to the surface of political parties, scum doesn't sink to the bottom, it rises! Base instincts seem to burn with a greater intensity than good ones. Anyway, back to sitting in the sun.

 A little corner of the world, a balcony of balm etc.

Having just recovered from being sick, I am happy to be well. Well, as in ok. Nothing big, or grande gonna happen for a while. Big plans, eh? 

Must admit I would like to know what this is.

There's a lot of weird stuff on my island, carvings, crosses, boat bollards on dangerous cliffs. Nobody seems to know much about them. My Island is one of the oldest inhabited places in Europe, but it is still a mystery! Lets face it people are very, very strange things.