I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Tuesday, 9 October 2018

People of the Book by Stevie have faith Haston.

This is a review of the White Cliff, read it and fucking weep, read it and laugh, read and feel your fingers digging into the cover. Just read it!
What Martin Farr did for Cave Diving with the Darkness Beckons, Grant Farquhar does for one cliff in a forgotton part of Brexit UK. Mind you it is perhaps the best cliff in the world! 

 This is not Gogarth but the Underworld, Christina coming down to pay the Ferryman. You must pay him otherwise he never lets you go. People who climbed on the magic cliff of Gogarth were never let go.

 Mandy landing in the Underworld. There must be so much of me that is actualy Gogarth, I eat the rock, bit the fucking dust and gave it my blood. The cliff came flooding back when I picked up the parcel, thanks Grant. My sweat came back, thanks guys who shared your stories and grip ups! This book on Gogarth is an anthology, and for me it is the best collection of writing that portrays climbers and climbs. Buy it!

 My own Private Idaho, my own private Gogarth.

 The magic munchkin Dawes on his and Graigs fab route, Onan the strong fingered.

 I thought this a bit silly and overdone, but then I read my own bit of writing in it and nearly cried!

As I said before ....unfinished routes there for me...

 Desroy, one of the actors,  more characters than in a hundred picaresque novels.

Two old mates , this book is full of old mates, some dead,  "brown bread". There are un wholesome tales, there are sweet tales..

Rouse, his magic, his vision, the crowd who loved this cliff and forever will know what its like to nimbly step from fluffy cloud  to frothy wave....his oppo Minks, solid madman tethered together on Positron prisoners of their own ambition and love for life. 
Wow what a book The White Cliff.

Sunday, 7 October 2018

Climbing opposes boredom and disgust with todays corruption. By Stevie Haston.

Its about this time of year I get my dancing shoes on and start trying. Maybe I should join the Stone Spear group of climbers who demonstrate against bad things. Theres always been a bunch of climbers somewhere who weren't so lazy that they would just sit there and do nuffing while shit hits the fan. I am too old and ineffective to do much . If you are reading this and your young and bold think about doing something, dont break the law but do something. Even climb something and use it as a protest. Hell climb Everest put up a banner, except most of the people on it will be voting for the Republican Party or the Conservatives.

 Dancing shoes - hey my sponsors send me some new dancing shoes! Please.

 Ears are for listening with, good advice, people pay me for advice and work all the time whats happened to other sectors?

 Cracks anyone? A couple of these have been done, but not all.
Its also the extension to a 2 kilometre traverse of mine at this point you have to go up and traverse high. 
 Some of you will know where this is haha, its a thing called the inclines in Llanberis Pass, you run up these inclines, pumping it out and on the the summit of the green hill/mountain above, Old School training.

Bitch tits appearing gotta go on a diet.

 The diet of non champions.

 The abb into the Underworld a guy called Face and I used to escape up this route in trainers at the end of long days, I would lead clipping as little bits as possible with a drill he would follow with a bigger humping load, then we would refresh in the nearest village on fermented grape juice.

A nice little brief moment between days.... hopefully I have a few more days left unlike democracy in some countries, protest!

Monday, 1 October 2018

New diet, new climber, by Stevie new Haston.

New fad diets, new fad training schemes. I'll just add a few bits of rubbish stuff of my own to confuse you, or perhaps I will not. I haven't been political for a while, it was on purpose, it's tiring, and frustrating, but the nasty powers that be  want us all getting tired, and not be political. So under the guise of new diets, I'll just give you some politics. Tricked you, please don't turn off. I know that rich people arn't political on the their Face Book pages on purpose, it makes them less rich, you will get less work, I took a biggish writer out the other day who said to me "tone it down ".

 You saw this photo before, here it is again, nothing better than some climbing with nice people, we even talked politics that day. Nobody died talking politics.

 Fried Egg Jelly fish are still around, but dying off, so beautiful and sad at the same time, like looking at butterflies for me, temporary like some of the good old classical Greek heros. Our span is so short, why do some of us have to be so horrible, why is America so stupid that it will make its Supreme Court so much worse with a payed for woman hater as one of it controlling elements. A diet of Fried egg jellies, a diet of lies, a diet of Red Bull shit cans on the sea bed, a diet of cigarette ends poisoning the sea horses. Pick your diet.

 My little friend on the edge of the world, no problems here on the edge.

 Entering the Underworld, you must pay the Ferryman, or you don't get out-the price for living in a civilised society is a certain level of morality, so what happened to politicians? Were they hit on the head repeatedly by their working class nannies, what is their excuse, and why don't they go to jail?

"Winter is coming", well it was coming its hot again!

I love climbing and diving because there is, I guess no politics, there is only you and me, or just me, no probs! The real world, the one we hide from, or retreat from is politics, that's all it is, it's politics. At the moment the year is 2018 and America has the largest prison population of any so called civilised nation. Why because they make money out of poor people in cages! The UK is trying to go the same way.

An estimated 97% of the USA 73 million pigs are raised in confined feeding, and breeding pens.The average sow produces 23.5 piglets a year. They die from prolapses. Do you agree with this? I have done some really bad jobs, and been payed really badly, in the process I have earned other people big money. I wouldnt want to be treated like a pig. In the past in America people were treated like sows, it was called slavery, will it come back. Do rich people die in wars? Why is America at war? Why is the UK at war? Why is France at war? Why don't most of the people in these countries know that they are at war killing people? Your new diet should be about understanding your masters and their plan, you will be the new pigs. 

The info about pigs was from the Guardian, it used to be a great paper, but is largely doing the work of the rich elite at the moment. Beware what you read, Greeks with gifts etc climbers masquerading as sages etc.

Monday, 17 September 2018

Mick Fowler and Jelly fish by Stevie Haston.

Just got Mick Fowlers book -good read! Review "laters" as we Londoners say!

 Seems a while since I climbed well-pissing me off-but hey life is shit, and then you die!

This is a shout out for my mate who runs Scuba Kings Gozo diving, thanks for your help, thanks for your music. If anybody wants to dive on Gozo, give Scuba Kings a try.

Christina and Mandy down there in the Perfect Calm!

 These don't look like much, and jelly fish stings don't usually bother me except feeling like a good burn, or branding. This one left me floating in the water for a while a bit scared-dont know what kind of Jelly it was, it may have been two, the top one felt different from the bottom one, I had another on my arm but it was nothing compared to the lower one, I think it affected my breathing because the sting was just under my ribs when my belly was all pushed up by pressure.

Fried Egg Jellies, mainly for my daughter Katie, but really these are nice guys!

Moon demons!

Mick's book is great! I always liked Mick despite him being a Taxman! He mentions Victor Saunders, or Slippery as Mick named him, I have climbed with both of them, brilliant guys, they shine in so many ways. A ton of people were mentioned in this book that I knew and like, too many to mention. Best chapter for me is the one on Victor when he first meets him, and thinks him a twit. I thought the same, shows you both Mick and I were wrong Victor, is solid in the mountains. Not all life is in the mountains however, this is possibly were some of us get things wrong!

Friday, 31 August 2018

Fitness is wasted on the young, by Stevie Haston.

I was looking at some potential routes today, and felt sad.When I scout for routes I mostly feel happy but to see routes of such magnificence and know you wont be able to do them felt tragic. Getting old aint easy, roll on Altzheimers so I can forget about a former life as a minor rock star.

 Pleasant 6a, the kind of route we should all be doing with our zimmer frames clipped to our harnesses.

 The long walk down, probably only 50 meters vertical, but hard after the dive, and probably should have sun bathed for an hour to lessen chances of decompression sickness.

Pointing out a 7a that starts to high and should start where I am, complete route would be magic!

Alex forgot her Grigri, they probably don't work underwater.

 Dolphin, or what? Anybody got an idea?

 Nice, oh very nice indeed!

 Diving, walking, climbing, ah sunbathing too.

you must always look for Neptune, or other gods, they are always looking at you, or inventing things like bad shoulders, to piss you off.

To become old gracefully is a bit too hard, as my friends used to say! Some of them died painfully young! Have some of you been turned into rock faces? At the moment I am waiting for two books. One about Gogarth! One by Mick Fowler! I will keep you posted, both promise to be good. I will not keep you posted about ageing as I think I'll just bypass it.  

Tuesday, 28 August 2018

The DJ saved my life, by Stevie still living Haston.

There are Gurus, dragons may be dead, but there are gurus. Gurus come in all shapes,  and forms not necessarily from the Indian subcontinent. This week one of the Gurus of Ice climbing left this circle to climb perfect hanging frozen stuff in a another universe. Jeff Lowe is gone, but he will stay with us. 

 I used to think that when I climbed thin ice I was climbing on Mother of Pearl, and could see rain bows. Its a long time from ice climbing madness for me but I still see the pearlish rainbows sometimes when I close my eyes. Jeff and his talented family kept me at ice with their new inventions, like their ice screws, I thank you all.

 Squinting in the sun where ice lasts a very short time, how do you see the Gurus of almost a different planet? How do you recognise people who can see more than you?

My little Guru! I have had many gurus, George the Greek taught me some Yoga when I was young, tough kids in my neighbourhood  (the hood is not just an american thing just as gurus arn't Indian), poets, climbers, freedivers, steep snowboarders. I salute you all. I salute you Jeff.

Gurus can be big or small. "Live long and prosper" isnt what I would now say if I was Spock, rather "Live well and spend your time doing marvellous things, bring back the dragons,  instead of the DJs".

Tuesday, 21 August 2018

Happy climbs, starry skies, warm water, by Stevie Haston.

Dear all, I have a very bad shoulder which means I don't write so much on this blog! You might note that tapping a key isn't necessarily made impossible by a bad shoulder-correct. "Things" as a philosopher baggage handler once said "dont just get carried over by themselves Guv." Yes my shoulder is a bit of a downer, so is lack of equipment, anyway some new routes have been done-good ones.

 The Mountain Calls. A poster in the Space Grivel in Courmayer, a place of profound sanctity. Visit if you get the chance as you will see much to do with mountains and equipment, its a place of worship as much as a museum.

 Fins or flippers, you say tomato I say red thing. 
The lack of a functioning shoulder does not stop me from climbing, it causes pain and annoyance. It is amazing what you can do with out something if you want! I refuse to stop doing things. Seriously though, when fit and young why did I do so little?

 A happy look!

Swimming is difficult, diving is difficult, climbing is difficult-all three together in one day is difficult three times over-but its fun. Without fun you might as well put me into a blender!

 I need money, not baby bats.

 Young Tim, smiling when not talking politics a member of our third party in Malta the party Democratica. My new Scarpa slippers are very comfy BTW.

 Young Alex with Simon.  Alex is a professional singer with a voice like an angel, Simon is my old mate who has two left feet.

A fossil sharks tooth to replace one of my own which dropped out, now I only need to look for a shoulder!
I recently saw that K2 was skied down, I thought this was a good effort. I remember saying to a group of so called experts in the UK once that this would be done and they said "never"! If you asked me which of the two things which was most likely to be done "a free solo of free rider" or a ski decent of K2, I would have scoffed at Free rider-even I am wrong. Climbing is great, it is indeed Big. To climb on the teeth of Mega sharks and the wings of joy is where its at, but a quick run down K2 or a lap on Free rider would be sweet.

Monday, 30 July 2018

Attila Gyetvai, goodbye. By Stevie Haston.

Sad news was brought to my attention, Attila died in a rockfall accident on the Aiguile Noire.

For Attila, he loved his mountains.

I don't know what to say. To love Mountains, is to love life. Thanks to everybody who knew and loved him, climbed with him. Thanks.