I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Saturday, 7 June 2014

My Shit Life So What, by Stevie Haston.

My mates are all banging on about how I should write my story, and I always say nobody is ready for that kindda truth. Do you know Frankie Boyle? He's a startlingly brilliant comedian who wrote a best seller about a life that's fairly ordinary, but hey it's funny, like bustta gonad funny!
Climbing auto's are like old bangers that don't work, they're rusty affairs, but remind you somehow that climbing is still good even though the writer gave up climbing years ago, or couldn't even break the speed limit.
My life was/ is shit and in between I climbed some stuff, in really beau places, occasionally, like every three years or so,  having a moderately  intelligent conversation.
How do you tell the truth in  an ocean of confused mémoires, there's so many versions of what's what, what's hard, who's the best,  an ocean of blurb, and badly written blurb to boot. That boot is a EB by the way, or is it a Tricuni nailed leather boot....its not a toe hugging , sticky rubber covered grade enhancer...... depends on which year doesn't it? I put a pair of nailed boots on a few weeks ago and guess what happened? Nothing happened, I couldn't climb at all well, ageing super vet turned into ageing Clark Kent, complete with silly specs.
Will I ever write this book that spans over forty years of climbing? Will you ever hear the true or semi true stories? I doubt it. Cos one, I'll get sued.
Since you won't read my great book, read Mr Boyles' funny little scribbles, they are funny, very funny, pity he never climbed anything. Pity most climbing books are a waste of paper.....