I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
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Friday, 9 January 2015

My Bigoted Beliefs, stevie the Supremacist Haston.

Rock racism, as in stone racism, is easy to understand for me, because I really like some bits of stone way better than other bits, because of the way they look. Rock racism for me, as in music racism is  a bit more difficult. I like some countries music, but not their country and Western. Racism as in race, as in running racism, is a bit more difficult to understand because running is full of much cultural, and physiological nonsense, coloured by racism, and masked as nationalism. And obviously Mountain running is what I love the best, and Kansas and Holland just don't hack it!  
Are you confused yet? My own racism which I have never questioned much, began to bother me recently. 

Notice the preternatural chalk ball, no wonder Gozitans can't climb, they are simply ill equipped, or over equipped, I can't even close my legs!

My country at the moment is a tiny island about 12 km by 8km, being an island it is surrounded by sea, so we don't get many foreigners, my mind is closing up into a small area. Mentioning it is surrounded by sea, is me admitting I think you could be stupid! Prejudice, racist, bigot, yep-thats me. Gozo has great stone, Gozo isn't even called Gozo, that's some kinnda Ferengi name the Maltese forced on us, or was it the colonial British? Gozo is really called Ghawdex. We, as in us Ghawdexians, are some of the most racist people in the world, we don't even like people from the next village, which is often only a half kilometre away, our cliffs are all ten minutes from each other, and don't talk to each other either.

Anyway being a Bigot, or a Big Bigot on a Tiny Island was fairly comfy until I realised that there is more to this racism and bigotry malarky than I thought. 
Recently some of my family, friends and even parts of my brain, became infected by Fear of the Foreigner, or FOF. We made a guide book recently which was called  Some Sport Climbing in Malta and Gozo, it has unfortunately become a success, and gee whizz, other climbers are coming!
 Lets go back a tadge- when the guide book was being finalised I got a shock when I saw the cover, it only said "Sport Climbing on Malta", what I fumed, where is the crucial Gozo bit, the big Gozo bit? The other two guide book authors looked at me nonplussed, what was I going on about, well it's obvious innit, they are Maltese and one is borderline English, and comes from Sliema! So  after a bit of huffing, and puffing I had my dictatorial way, and Gozo went on the cover, racism won a victory.
 Now then, I thought this racism thing was done and dusted, being a lazy blighter after all, I just got rhythm,  and a preternatural ability to climb large roofs because I have a penis with an opposing thumb-you didn't know that did you-Gozo racial secret-sorry Ghawdexian secret. Anyway, wait for it, wait for it, too many foreigners have been coming, from the big island Malta, and then from further north, you know 'Italy', I say it with a whisper, or a lisp cos it's a big word. 

Other people of a more unsavoury nature or colour, have been coming from further north, these people are so pale its hard to see them against the clouds, but they are there, believe me I have seen them with my own three eyes. 
What is to be done? FOF fear of the foreigner is being rapidly replaced by FOF OF a splinter group, the Fear of the Foreigner who over Fraternises, Jesus Mother of Mary, is the Pope a Muslim, when will it end? It was something like this that led to me, the truth is out, I am only half Gozitan, I'am going  to resign from my coverted position in three climbing associations, we certainly don't do things by halves here. 
Incase you missed it, this is for Je suis Charlie. I am hopefully a Half Charlie thanks to my mixed parentage -what a weird phrase-. Please come to Gozo and be nice to us Gozitans, leave some Euros, take some sun, maybe even stay. Peace.