I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Stiff as a dead butchers dog? By Stevie Satan Haston.

Something was very stiff on waking up. At my age you’d think I’d be happy, and that Viagra brand muesli works. But no, it wasn’t the ‘Hampton wick’, it was, my hamstring. I think the pencil stub behind my ear, and the chip on my shoulder, are giving me a painful muscle imbalance. Yesterday I became the hundredth voting person in my commune. This made me happy, as I felt I’d done something constructive and positive for myself, probably deluded eh? I now have a one hundredth say in my commune, which if you think about it is more power than an ordinary voter in Britain. Democracy is pretty dumb when you think about it, one vote in tens of millions is meaningless, still it’s good for fooling you into thinking your important. I have always been fond of benevolent dictators, as they save me the trouble of being concerned about stuff. When I was a child (okay younger, if you are a hater), I was asked to do a presentation at school about someone special, someone that any man should want to be. I chose an Emperor of China, and gave a few good reasons for my admiration, but unfortunately concluded with the real reason. The thought of his 300 concubines, nubile, lithe, with those slanted sexy eyes, and masterfully trained to that exotic, and erotic pinnacle of sexual expertise, had some how clouded my adolescent tiny brain, and absolutely won my turgid vote. I was thrashed with a bamboo cane, as you were in those barbaric times by a man in a pin-strip suit who smiled afterwards. Before he caned me he whipped the cane thru the air a few times to get me scared, I chuckled. I used to practise that chuckle assiduously. That little chuckle cost me dear, but his blustering, spittle flecked wobbling chin was a gas. He was the first person to address me as Satan, a gifted math teacher, but hopeless as a headmaster, possessed a very good swing, possibly missed his vocation as a golfer.
Two litters of baby rabbits today. Here is a photo of a different litter, older kittens, but you get the idea.