Grandads Rage Against the Machine, by Stevie Stately Haston.

 It's been a weird week, this week that was. It's been good and bad, there's been a mood of grey, and a sad air, and then of course luckily the sun shines and hope pervades. Please God, preserve me from the ordinary 50 shades of grey that can cloud our dreary existence.

 So, I met a couple of old guys, and we teamed up for a natter on the edge of existence, and perhaps ours, after all we are getting on. They were fishing off the 30 to 40 meter cliffs.
The older of the two, and of the the three (if your paying attention) was called Gerald from Valetta, a sprightly 74 years. I had watched him nimbly solo up and down a grade 5. He was a great lad as was his mate. Gerald was fascinated by our climbing antics. Gerald watched me attentively and kept asking questions, and then worked everything out for himself. He had worked on church domes in the casual style of the Maltese, i.e. total Insha'Allah lack of Health and Safety.

If any body knows Geralds last name, or knows him,  tell him to come back to us, and I'll take him on a route. He climbs the cliffs for pleasure to fish, and meditate-a lovely man. As we shook hands I noticed a missing thumb, he had lost it in an explosion.

So why is this spying going on? Blips of 21 hits a few times a day, repeatedly! Am I that much of a threat to the New World Order? Haven't the "Powers that Be" got anything better to do than spy on a climbing grandad? What do they think I am going to do? Tear down their stinking edifice with my rusty Zimmer frame? Get a real job NSA, or whoever it is! It used to be groups of 34 hits, at least that made more numbers on my blog! Try this W   A  N  K  E  R  S, thats code for desist.

Help needed with Rock by Stevie helpless Haston.

A bit of new route exploration, it will become a world class climb.

 Had a great time on the day of the referendum about hunting, which of course turned to total Scheisse when the results came in to allow the continued killing of birds about to breed! Anyway, the sun shone, there where families enjoying the countryside, it was great.

 I need help with this fossil! I don't know what it is! I have never seen anything like it. It was found in the lower Coraline layer on Gozo just before the layer of Silver Dollar sea urchins that marks the change to Globigerina. If you are a geologist, and don't know, please ask some one who might. 

 Crusher and Fran  flew all the way from Colorado in the USA, to see and climb on my island of Gozo. Happy tourists spending money on our island climbing who will spread the word about how good the climbing is. 

This place is magnificent, it's called Fruit Cake Land, great climbs, a world class experience. Fishermen use this spot and have been using it for a very long time. I have climbed there since I was a kid, along with fishermen of all ages, 30 meter routes by old guys and kids in bare feet. The tradition of climbing is thousands of years old on Gozo. If you are a hunter and want to climb instead this year, contact me, maybe we can go climbing together. Peace to all, and a peaceful clean countryside for all of us to enjoy.

American climbers eat rock. by Stevie Hungry Haston

 Enormous hunger, gigantic thirst for life, fun, and rock. Yep, a lot of my friends seem to be hungry, and greedy for enjoying life's finer things. Two mates came over from the States to climb, and so far they seem to enjoy the rock, Fran and Crusher have been my mates for a really, really long time. 
And we have climbed together, and discussed stuff for a really, really long time. Last night, we were  talking about the 'Endless War' that's ravaging the Middle East.

 Fran and Crusher enjoying rock

There's a point when discussion, however heated, can stay a discussion, or rage into argument. I hope I always stay under that point, on the right side of that point. And that's the point!

This is a photo of me finally doing the crux of Hore Hound, a nasty tweaky 8a. The fact that I can now do it fairly well, suggests to me that it's not 8a. So it might go down in the next guide to 7a, or 6c +. That's my little joke for today. You have to laugh, don't ya, cos politics makes me want to scream,  and stamp my feet. Better to go climbing with friends, and have a laugh at the idiot who wrote the guide book!

Pulling yourself up by your toger. Stevie grumpy Haston

 grumpy but sartorially elegant.

Down in the Underworld cliff, it was perfection, perfection of place, perfection of peace. Perfection until we discovered we didn't have our boots! Who was to blame? Can't be me, I am blameless, always perfect, the epitome of professional perfection. The last time there was a cock up in the Underworld, my mate tried to tell me I'd forgotten the rope. I told him that unless he wanted to swim he had to prussic up the 60 meter rope, go back to the car, and he'd find the rope where he left it on top of the car. Two hours later he appeared out of the sky with zee rope. Today I led Stix and Stoners  in training shoes, dressed like a guy too old for Raves. Also my apparel  was weirdly colour coordinated. I always dress this way in the hunting season, hopefully they won't mistake me for a wee harmless birdy.

 The rare flowering plant Everlasting is just starting to bloom.

This cliff is one of my favourites in the world, maybe my favourite. Huge overhangs big holds weird rock, fossils, fear, lots of fear.

The Underworld cliff in all it's colourful glory.

Tried a huge 8a today. It was brill and conditions were really good. Did not go across the time tunnel there were some very hard to time waves which only left a 6 second gap, too whimpy.

Here I am looking for the fairway, luckily I had a few spare draws for the 40 meter length, got a little pumped, and there were the odd bead of perspiration on my slightly troubled brow by the time I finished. In zee old days I would do it with the drill or a rucksack, must be getting old. Anyway, it was perfection of place, the cave is an old stream bed with cemented in boulders. 8  grade 8s, more coming soon if I get the drill. 

Is Climbing a Religion? by Stevie saintly Haston.

 I got Jewish friends, I got Christian friends, I got Hindu friends, I got Muslim friends, I wanted to have a Parsee friend but Freddy Mercury died. It has to be said that most of my friends are infact climbers, or Climbers. Strangely they are fairly tolerant for religious nutters, they tend to be not very orthodox. They can split into sub groups, and then we tend to look at each other with a bit of a shrug, we get new prophets, it's not fixed, or finished  this new religion.  

I myself have been a boulderer  an ice climber, a mixed climber, an alpinist, a himalayan climber and a trad climber, I worshiped in all the churches, if there was a god I surely didn't want to take the chance of being wrong, so I hedged my bets and tried them all.

 But I always come back to the thing that took me to this worship, or this belief in something greater than myself, it was beauty. Colour, sparkle, the shimmer  of the ice, the sky changing tone, my skin burning on the stone, my knees buckling as my god scared me, and warned me that if I didn't take him seriously I would die.

I do like my religion, I worship stone, and sky, Snow and slopes, and sweat and sacrifice, and now I can't think of any words starting with S, I'am going to do a few sets of pull ups, and offer them up as prayer. May your God go with you.

Clubable Climbers, by Stevie Sociable Haston.

climber arguing with gravity and failing.

It's Easter and kids are stuffing their faces with chocolate eggs, and the climbers are stuffing their fingers in sharp pockets. There is a group dynamic at the moment and we need to get together, and become an organisation to help climbing in Malta move foreward, and you know, it's really difficult, people are difficult and prickly, and the vision gets lost. Climbing is a really great sport for kids, adults, semi adults, and those folk who don't even know what classification they should be heaped under. We have just made an agreement to gain us access to private land to climb it's very important to us, and yet some  of us think we have a god given right to climb were ever we want. Well folks we don't have that right, we have reasonable access to governmental land to recreate, as do hunters and other folks, some times we might be in conflict, and yet we must somehow accommodate every body.  And remember our voice is small, and many people don't understand us, or our sport.
Communication and friends in high places go along way.

Ken in action. Actions speck louder than words in climbing, but politics unfortunately have to be employed to.


 This is Ken from the MCA, whose enthusiasm has taken him to 8a+ in a short time, and he is a guy like me who has recently tried to help bring us all together in an official way to make more head way with the government. Ken is a burly beast who has a very gentle manner, and he is very patient with the right authorities. I would like to thank him here publicly for all his work to get climbers together, and give them a platform, it is very important for us and him, to share our opinions and create a group consensus.    

Fellow climber perhaps? We need Members bring your own rope, and boots, Crosses optional, all religions, colours, nationalities.

 These guys are using their democratic right to carry wooden crosses around. There are a lot of democratic rights, and sometimes it's hard to understand a new one, or a minority one. There are more shot gun licenses on this island than in any other country in Europe, maybe the world, and yet we are a fairly peaceable nation. We don't normally shoot each other. Some of us would like to climb, we think it's healthy, good for staying in shape, and doesn't harm anyone, we also want more climbers especially from the Maltese. 

some carabiners and chains from old routes used in penance, well seriously, on some routes we want to re equip, this stuff would be better!  
At the moment we are trying to get funds to re equip lots of climbs, make them safer for every body, and make some new climbs. If you think you can help, or want to affect policy please talk to Ken, me, or anybody concerned. Please join the Malta Climbing Association, help us make group policy, and speak with one voice so we can get somewhere with the government, and local bodies. They want to help, but their rules mean they want to deal with the Association. Ok lets boogie, personally I don't even want to be a member of a club, but I am. Personally I don't want to be a member of an association of clubs, personally I just want to climb. But, and it's a big but, you need to communicate this stuff with the big boys, the government and the guys with money. Ok. 

Titties and Beer, by stevie the pizza Haston

So Face book deletes female nipples, but keeps male nipples WTF! You can have Endless War, but no peace, you can have Extreme sports where lots of people die, or end up as vegetables, or damaged goods, but you can't lie naked on a family beach, and share photos. I can show the photo of the above, which pulls on monos but can't show the one below? 

These are snow board graphics they are clearly works of art. I am not frightened of nipples, I sucked on them as a child, I sucked on them as an adult, they have always sustained me. Please free nipples. Do not oppress nipples.