I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Good things happen, by Stevie the optimist Haston.

 Patrick on a Fisherman's route.

My pupil did an 8b standard yesterday, and I am very proud of him, well done Patrick. I have had some success lately at teaching people the finer points of climbing, in many different grades, it is gratifying. However Patrick has pleased me immensely, he came here stronger than before and despite an upsetting decision at a comp has just enjoyed his climbing. Climbing is magic sometimes. 

 Patrick checking out an 8c!

The link between a climber and success, is the contact of his skin on the handholds, and the rubber on the footholds. Between these things is a massively complicated process of confidence, a harmony of understanding, and a precision of timed movement. Does that sound complicated? It is. But it is overcome by having Golden Feet, and a bit of strength!

 Contact temporarily broken between Golden Feet and Golden rock!

And not forgetting flexibility, and relaxation of unnecessary tension….

  My grand sun Leo, he showed me his pull up strength and the we went to see the fishes with his sisters.

An Octopus has 8 brains, he is able to control an incredibly complex amount of succers on complicated 3 dimensional operating limbs, they rant just Golden Feet they also have the ability to change colour at will! They are truly amazing, we must aspire to be like Octopus!

I was fortunate to be able to lure this beauty out for the kids to look at before returning it.

After Patrick walked up one of the most beautiful routes on the island I went swimming to Cathedral Cave with my grandchildren. The sea was a bit choppy for Leo and Harmony and Melody, they are not fully aquatic, they are rock climbing hounds, but the sea is a mystery to them. There oohs and ahhs were a profound joy to me. As was Patricks Golden Feet.  Nice day.

Sunday, 9 October 2016

Captain climbing Ahab, by Stevie Haston.

 I have been climbing , wow what a revaluation. Its a bit like saying there is a circus of deceit going on in politics today. I guess the revaluation is that most people have got their heads stuck in an extra large popcorn bucket.

 The mother load is slowly being born.

Temperatures are still very high and the sea even got warmer this week. Its a bit hot for hard routes and although I am climbing, my ability to fight seems submerged. Just pleasant routes with lovely people.


These photos above are for Ken my mate, we exchanged some tales, fisherman's and climbing tales can be bigger, and badder than ordinary life sometimes. So thats the new cliff, possible 9a etc Ken.

 Ken's squid, 20kgs!

We are a bit weird on the is tiny insignificant island sometimes our egos are out of step with being the smallest island in the Eu, but hey at least we are still in the EU! 

Master Ken the Natural.

Ken is working too much, like most of my friends but he took the time to come and drag me out today, thanks Ken! He and his girl friend looked smart using a Mono Fin for the first time, it was great to spread some joy with a new toy. On one dive at about 24 meters just as I was turning I came face to face with the biggest Octopus I have ever seen, arms a meter long, and spread out, to its full size. It was huge, it reared up, looked at me with a veiled threat! At this depth the Mixed Martial Arts fight would have gone the wrong way I feared, so a quick hello, and I swore I saw him say, "I'd have you for breakfast". Nice one Octo.  The wreck further out looked tantalising at depth, Ken was thinking it looked so close, but in reality 35 meters is not close. Not for us anyway. Its just like an 8a sport climb when "you know you can do it", but you can't.

Sunday, 2 October 2016

Making routes for Ordinary folk. By Stevie extraordinary Haston.

 this climb is 40 meters or more long, Elbe Sandstone!

I woke up after having a majestic dream! My flunky brought in my tea, my toast and eggs Benedict, and told me of the latest routes he had created for my pleasure. "Well you haven't done very well, only one" I said out of my chewing mouth. "Yes Sire" he sighed. "I have been lazy, please forgive my uselessness". "Is it of suitable magnificence for my majesty", I guffawed. "I reverently hope so, Divine one", he whispered as he silently crept out backwards leaving a trail of rock dust behind him.

 to the left of a good route should be something like this, especially on Mondays.

Routes should be wonderful, some of mine are a bit ordinary, but never mundane, some are fit for the Majestic one. I hate people who complain about my routes. It would be nice to do great routes, with perfect moves, on perfect rock in a perfect setting, dream on, some can be just OK. Some routes are in quarries by the sides of roads!

 a few of these sea shells, once on a sea shore, should shine out on a few routes.

I did a little bit of abseiling yesterday, with 46 kids, only one said thank you. This is the world we live in my friends! If you do one of my routes and it's good, please say thank you, then I might put up another. If on the other hand you do one of my routes and you get scared, because the bolts are six inches out of your reach, please keep this infantile bit of information to your self, or employ a flunky.

the mark of a real route setter.

For those that complain about my routes I have left a little surprise. Ah now I feel better, every cloud has a silver lining, every morning eggs Benidict, every finishing hold a Kinder Surprise!