I'm a woman

I'm a woman
Photos copyright Laurence Gouault
No reproduction on other media without the photographer's permission.

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Planing the Plan, by Stevie Haston.

The plan has to be resurrected, because I have fallen victim to weakness and sloth! Cant believe I am climbing well when I couldn't  fight my way out of a paper bag!

'The best layed plans of man', etc, and etc. Bet we don't want the etc do we, we want the plan man. The plan has always been the same for me it's to have more fun and success.  More fun isn't necessarily more Armagnac, just a taste will do. Photo is for Kyle the Russian.  

More fun and success at the moment means, learning more about yoga and its applications to my life. And, dear grasshopper what is life, is it a pursuit of climbing nice rocks and pointy summits? Who knows, I am still on the journey, and the journey requires a vehicle, and the journey requires fuel. 

So my vehicle needs sorting, and it needs fuel, so I need money! Well, well, well zee unsolvable money, thingy, conundrum, knot problem.  

The tight knot that couldn't be undone was solved by an impatient Alexander. But the fuel for the vehicle thing won't be solved so easy. So I hope someone is listening.

The plan is strong fingers, followed by a very strong body, powered by a calm and effective mind, that drives the efficient vehicle, which has at least some fuel, to transport me to more fun and success.  But please, please don't ask what more fun and success is.  

Monday, 26 May 2014

Just Crucify me, by Stevie Haston.

So,  there are ups and downs in a climbers life, highs and lows even, but not being able to red point things is defo a low. Worse is realising your really crap, and worser still is knowing your crap cos you aint got it together latley. So, that's right crucify me! They used to crucify particularly bad people upside down! 

This is me shopping for a comfy cross. The above, above, photo, is King of Kings on Gozo, a strange island full of great climbing and the only place I know where you can buy or rent tailor made crosses!

Back in France the Front National has polled 24 percent! I am ashamed to be French! The local Bio market was however abundantly wonderful brimming with good things but there too there was trouble brewing. I talk to a couple of people were were prosecuted for selling prohibited vegetables, quelle horreur! We are talking carrots here, and tomatoes, not hallucinogenic, or facist vegetables like some politicians! The veg concerned doesn't happen to be on the EU catalogue despite being farmed in France for centuries. 

Absinth makes the heart grow fonder. Absinth is wormwood, the drink has been banned in its full strength for a long time now, but it is tasty! The other day in a posh restaurant I had Larch liquor, Myrtle  an unnamed one which was illegal to produce in large quantities(!) and an excellent wine produced by the owner.
 Anyway I am in training again after a bit of slacking, am climbing very nicely, but feel badly weak. Can't do a one arm pull up, how mortifying, better crucify myself on the pull up board with a 20 kg weight strapped to myself. Have been eating really well, organic food, and become a vegetarian after a lapse of a few years. I was a veg for 25 years, and a vegan for some of that time. Still have chickens for their wonderful eggs, don't know how that's gonna work out, and still clean insects off the garden. But hey you do what you can, right? So I am gonna try to climb hard, and put up great routes. 

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Yoga at Explos film Festival in Ax les Thermes, by Stevie Haston

The link between a health mind and body and Yoga is now firmly established in many people, the link between Yoga and excellence in climbing is less understood. But not by me, and not by many of my friends and not by many of the finest climbers in the world. There are four Yoga Kundalini classes and one work shop at the Explos  Film Festival at Ax in Ariege France. The class is taken by Laurence Gouault.Haston who is a Kundalini certified teacher and a proficient climber, an ex pro climber in fact. For more infos on the course here is the link.

Laurence has a developed a specific program for climbers and sports people, which works on mind control and stress management. The classes are suitable for novice and expert and indeed people who simply want to enjoy Kundalini Yoga. 

This is me enjoying my split personality, only half joking. I was just at Mello Bloc where many people enjoyed a very large series of classes and will attend  Adventure Outdoor Fest in San Candido in the Dolimites for some more Yoga, more on that later.   

Sunday, 18 May 2014

A Urinal called Stevie, by Stevie Haston.

I was here the other day wishing I was some where else, and was somewhere else wishing, I was someone else.......

These are the weapons of a Jedi knight circa early 70's....I used to climb with these and thought them very useful, today ....well. Any way, they are heavy, and not that good, but they served us well.   

Lunch in Italy can be a bit too jolly, getting fat, or is that fatter!  

Hitched thru the tunnel to the french side this morning, cold hands thumbing. A kind man took me thru the tunnel, at the other side he was fined a huge amount of money for exceeding the speed limit by 5 km an hour. He was Black, welcome to France!

So when I die wrote Orsum Wells they won't erect a statue in my honour they will dig a pit! When I die, they will if I am lucky name a urinal, after me! I saw this incredible insult to the man who wrote Conquistadors of the Useless, admitidly it's nice and floral and not porcelain and stinky, but come on, is that what you think Chamonix? 

I will probably be remembered for doing equipment vids! One of my vids has been downloaded 80,000 times and counting! Does anybody remember I have run up nearly a hundred grande courses in the alps, without a rope, bereft of sense, and wearing a slightly frozen  grin! No, well, Bollards to you all! 

Friday, 9 May 2014

Melloblocco 2014 by Stevie mellow Haston

© Lorenzo Belfrond
Stevie enjoying some good lines

A bit wintery and alpine the first day…

 Steve Mac

 Some yoga classes

 GRIVEL banana man and game for some free carabiners…

A good wiess beer to finish the day...

 Leah Crane crushing at Mello

  Relax in the sun
Nest at a top of a boulder….